The Heart Of Hagrid
by PhoenixTears-x
Summary: Hagrid's broken up with his lover Dobby. How will he deal with his heartache? He struggles along with the help of his two best Friends Dumbledore and Harry. This is kind of one shoty but not really a one shot hence the two chapters :
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Anything you recognise isn't minee **

_My characters are of course nothing like the real characters, This isn't meant to be really serious or an amazing piece of literature. Its a random result of my boredness. So pleeeeease dont get offended and how stupid dumbledore is and how unhagriddy hagrid is (:_

Hagrid was in his hut with Fang. "oh fang!" he sighed, "how can I live without Dobby in my life! He completes me!"  
Hagrid had been feeling this low for day at the thought dobby might not love him anymore. Dobby had been acting distant for days, almost as if their was something more important occupying his mind.

Hagrid was trying to pluck up his courage and ask Dobby if he was seeing someone else, no matter how hard he tried he couldn't bring himself to ask. He could see nothing in dobbys eyes when they kissed, no passionate, burning fire that he used to see.

The nex day was bright and beautiful, the complete opposite of what Hagrid felt and looked. He walked up to the castle feeling slightly nervous, instead of walking straight forward into the great hall he walked down a corridor to his right that he knew would take him to the kitchens. he tickled the pear in the fruit bowl painting, checking no one was near he stepped inside.

He seen the love of his life, and couldn't help but notice how much more beautiful he looked first thing in the morning. However, Dobby hadn't seen Hagrid and what he done next Shattered Hagrids heart into one million shards. Dobby had taken Vladimeer, another houself, in his arms and kissed him passionately. Hagrid gave one loud sob and ran away.

He locked himself in his cabin all day and just sat in his bed wrapped in blankets, crying and downing bottles of firewhisky. he heard a knock on his door at bout 5.30 that evening. "Hagrid its us" said two voices. "we heard what happened from winky" said a voice that that Hagrid pressumed to be Dumbledores. Hagrid heaved himself off his bed, swaying, he opened his door and let them in.

It was Dumbledore and Harry, they both hugged him and led him to a chair. Hagrid wailed "How can I possibly go on! he was my life! my salvation! and hes ruddy well cheating on me! with VLADIMEER! why?!why?!why?! hagrid seemed to be under the impression he deserved this fate and nothing Dumbledore or Harry said would persuade him otherwise.

Dumbledore and Harry left Hagrids cabin both thinking of idea to cheer Hagrid up "I have a plan!" Dumbledore almost shrieked. "what is it?" Harry asked eagerly.

"You'll have to wait until tomorow" Dumbledore answered him slyly a strange glint in his eyes. The next day Harry met up with Dumbledore eager to hear Dumbledores plan. Dumbledore pulled out a laptop.  
_what the hell_ thought Harry, however he didnt voice his opinion he knew dumbledore was a genios and his plan was sure to work, no matter how strange.

Dumbledore pulled open the laptop and on the screen was ''. "a dating agency?!" Harry asked incredulously. "yes a dating agency! we are going to get Hagrid a date! I've had many replies already!"  
Dumbledore sounded extremely proud of himself. He had written up an adevertisement for Hagrid "modestly Large male, extrememely Hairy facial features, can give loving tender care, if interested please report to the-cabin-at-the-side-of-the-forest, Hogwarts school, scotland on the 24th of november.

"Its perfect!" said harry "yes i quite think so myself" said dumbledore with a hint of smugness. "He'll have forgotten about that wee elf in no time!"

five minutes later they were at Hagrids door. "Come on in " answered a moping voice imn answer to Harrys knock. Harry and Dumbledore exchanged looks before entering. "I have had an idea Hagrid!"  
"you must be here at 2 30 this afternoon Hagrid we have a surprise for you"

"okay then" Hagrid answered dumbledore solemnly too upset to even question him.

At two thirty that afternoon, Hagrid was pacing impatiently around his cabin while Hagrid and Dumbledore were stuffed uncomfortable in Hagrid tiny closet which was slightly ajar so they could watch

"i cant breath!" moaned Harry. Dumbledore shushed him

"I think somethings died in here" Harry mumbled quietly. He coud smell something foul, and was beginning to think this was bad idea. "Theres someone at the door!" dumbledore said his eyes widening in excitement. hagrid lumbered over to his door, pulling it open slowly scared of what he would find on the other side.

It was the ugliest woman Harry had ever seen Harry imagined her to be a cross between a Hag and a banshee. "yes thankyou for coming" Hagrid said trying to smile at her as he showed her out the door less than a minute later.

He turned round and gave the closet a look of upmost disgust. He invited the next person in, it was a crouched figure who gave the impression of some kind of spider. It turned out to be half goblin half acromantula. "I'll...er get back to you sir" Hagrid told him uneasily. He looked more like something Hagrid would keep as a pet rather than date.

Harid had seen about 25 people, Dumbledore was starting to lose hope. Hagrid opened the door once more to reveal someone who took Hagrids Breath away. He was the most beautiful creature hagrid had ever seen,  
even more gorgeous than dobby! Hagrids face easily showed what he was thinking. This excited Harry as he was extrememly desperate to get out of the stinky, stuffy closet.

By the end of their conversation hagrid has landed himself a date for a few Days later in Hogsmeade. Dumbledore and Harry barged their way out of the closet.

Harry pulled the peg off his nose that he was using to block out the foosty smell. and simply glared daggers and Dumbledore who didn't seem to notice but clapped his hands excitedly like a small child at christmas. "thankyousomuch!" Hagrid said loudly almost shaking in happiness. It turned out the creature was a Goblin named heedahodaheeven

Dumbledore and Harry were extrememly proud of their work and glad that perhaps Hagrids mind could be taken off of Dobby.


	2. Chapter 2

It was the day of Hagrids date. Hagrid had lathered himself in his favourite cologne Cavin Klein: Obsession. Harry personally thought it was rank **(A/N I do genuinely hate the smell of this! LOL)** but he let Hagrid get on with it anyway.

Hagrid had also, insanely, tried to straighten his hair. The brush and Straighteners were lost in his hair. It would have been like attempting to find a needle in haystack so they didn't even try to find them. Harry and Dumbledore went upstairs to Dumbledores office to anticipate the moment hagrid would arrive back from his date.

Hagrid arrived home with his goblin companion, he switched on the lights in his cabin. Heedahova couldn't contain himself he pounced on Hagrid and with an invisible force pushed him onto the bed...

Dumbledore and Harry had been watching from Dumbledores office with Harrys telescope, they had to stop looking after a while as things got a bit too graphic. Harry groaned, he wished Hagrid would close his curtains once in a while.

It was the next morning when Harry arrived at Dumbledores cabin to hear about Hagrids date. He found Dumbledore sitting with Hagrid, they were both looking extrememly solemn indees. Harry was immediately worried by the look upon their faces.

"IT WAS A ONE NIGHT STAND!!" wailed hagrid as he threw himself onto harry, this floored harry immediately and his legs crumpled beneath him with a huge crack

"HAGRID YOU OAF! YOU BROKE BOTH MY LEGS!"

A few hours later Harry was in the hospital wing with both his legs bandaged and sore. At the side of his bed was Ron and Neville, Ron found it hilarious that Hagrid and managed to break Harrys legs.

"Ron! its very sad hagrid was used like that" Harry scolded him.

"Harry! Hagrid is half giant! Heedahova was a goblin!" Ron said staring incredulously at harry. "wha'd you mean [i]was[/i] a goblin!" Harry asked almost scred to find out.

"wel if you had looked out the window at about 5.30 this morning you would have seen Heedahova leaving Hagrids using his hands to drag himself away because he was incapble of using any other body parts!" Ron told him trying extremely hard not to laugh.

"bloody hell ron was it really that bad" Harry asked quietly.

"well..hagrid is a bit strong..."

Later on that evening Dumbledore was comforting Hagrid in the three broomsticks. "its such a shame"  
moped Hagrid "i cant believe I broke poor Harrys legs"

Hagrid stared down at his hands and twiddled histhumbs with a pained look on his face. Just at that moment Dobby entered the pub holding hands with Vladimeer.

Hagrid wailed and threw himself under the table. This made quite a din and quite a few people turned to stare at them, dobby and vladimeer included. He just looked away and he and Vladimeer sat at a table at the far end of the pub.

I can't live like this thought Hagrid. He decided to go visit Harry in the Hospital wing. when he arrived her hugged harry very hard and collapsed on him. "HAGRID, I THINK YOU'VE BROKE MY ARMS!" shrieked Harry. "oh harry i cant do anything to anyone without breaking one of their body parts" Hagrid wailed loudly.

Ten minutes later Harry also had his arms in slings, hagrid hd decided to go back home before he caused anymore damage to poor Harry.

Harry fell asleep, when he awoke it was pitch dark outside, he sat up to find Dobbys face in his. Dobby tred to make out with harry, Harry was not tolerating such actions and shouted at dobby.

"DOBBY. DONT YOU DARE! YOU TWO TIMING CHEATING ELF!" "Harry ive loved you all these years!" dobby wailed "not Hagrid! not Vladimeer! youuuu!"

Dobbys eyes swam with tears.

"leave this place. "Harry told dobby with sincere sadness in his voice"you will not cheat on one of my best friends then attempt to seduce me you skanky little elf."

Two days later Harry was allowed out of the hospital wing. "Oh harry i cant help being so big and strong" cried hagrid Sadly. "its okay Hagrid im much better now" Harry reassured him

Dumbledore was in his study when Harry knocked. "come in my dear boy!" dumbledore galumphed delightedly.  
"Dumbledore whats happened to make you so hapyy?"

"Hagrid can be made happy by my ingenious new plan!"  
oh here we go again thought Harry, however he didnt want to offend Dumbledore. "what is this plan of yours then?"  
Harry asked trying to look politely interested.

"well...first of all..." half an hour later Dumbledore had finished telling Harry "hmm...it could mabye help cheer him up" harry said trying not to sound too sceptical.

that night when harry was sleeping they snuck down to his cabin and put a hsoe in his wardrobe.  
This was part of the spell Dumbledore had concucted, he was trying to make a sort of hair removing cream to try and make Hagrid more attractive.

The next moring they went down to the potions classroomto make the potion.  
it was made from Boomslang skin, cranberry juice, spiders legs, fish eyes that were gouged at midnight and also some nair(hair removing cream that muggle women used)

They went down to Hagrids and about ten oclock that morning. He was sitting at his table reading the Daily Prophet, they went in and announced they were going to do soemthing to make Hagrid feel better.

They would be giving him a facial and a haircutting. "I found a shoe in my wardrobe this morning that wasn't mine" Hagrid told them thougtfully "oh really? thats odd" harry said shiftilly.

"okay Hagrid just lie back and relax" Dumbledore said hastily putting two cucumber slices over Hagrids eyes.  
He latherd a nice smelling cream on Hagrids face. They pourd the potion over his head, it started singing and fizzing immediately taking effct on his hair that was falling out thick and fast. It looked as if Hagrid had some form of bowl cut, then he started screaming

"ARGHHHHHH! MY HEAD! IT BURNS! WHAT'VE YOU DONE TO ME?!"" Hagrid exclaimed. oh no thought Harry and Dumbledore panic stricken. Hagrid continued to scream and run around like a loony. By now Hagrid had knocked his table over Harry swiftly closed the curtains. "dumbledore do something!"  
Harry begged him. " aguamenti!" dumbledore said pouring water over Hagrids sizzling head. "that wasnt just haircut was it dumbledore?"

"well...er mabye you should look in the mirror and see for yourself..." dumbledore suggested meekly.

Hagrid looked in the mirror. He gave a apainful horrified cry. "IM BALD?!!" He yelled.

"Really Hagrid its a beautiful new look for you! honestly" Dumbledore said trying to make hagrid feel better at his hideous new look. Hideous it really was, as they hadnt got to do his beard therefore his beard clashed terribly with his now shiny red skalp.

"its lovely honestly Hagrid!" lied Harry attemping to keep a stright face. Hagrid was not to be convinced though, nothing they said would persuade him "that hair took me 45 years to grow" Hagrid would wail every so often.

"at least you've got those hair brushes and straighteners back that wa slost in there" harry suggested trying to cheer him up slightly. "yes i supose. i still can believe yous made me bald! i doubt it'l ever grow back" Harry and Dumbledore both felt extremely bad as Hagrid looked close to tears.

"ah well" Hagrid sighed thoughfully" i supose people are suposed to get new looks when they go through a break up.

Harry and Dumbledore wer glad they got at least a small ray of hope in Hagrids shiny big head.

Dumbledore asked Hagrid later that evening if he would like to go for a drink in the pub. They had been in pub for lmost 30 minutes when Dobby walked in, with Vladimeer again. Instead of Hgrid throwing himself under the table he strode up to Dobby and his partner confidentally.

"i dont need you or any other filthy houself in my life you piece of scum i hope you die a horrible death!" Hagrid turned round quickly. "and dont you dare laugh at my new do you filthy fish brained peanut!" "coming dumby?" Hagrid asked Dumbledore.

"wow that was amzing Hagrid! you standing up to him like that!" Dukbledore chukled at Hagrids new lease of life. "yeah well...ive decided im going for a whole new look so I am. A whole new Hagrid (A/N think the aladin song)  
come to mine tomorow afternoon" he told dumbledore before striding into his cabin. Harry recieved a message from Dumbledore to meet him in the entrance hall the net afternoon...

so the next day at half past one Harry and Dumbledore were walking down to Hagrids Dumbledore informed Harry that what they were about to see what as much a surprise to him as it was to Harry. They knocked on the door quietly "come in" replied a deep voice **(A/N think Danny zuko from Grease)**

Dumbledore pushed open the door and they both walked in "WHAT IN THE NAME OF MERLIN?!"  
The deep voice had come from Hagrid himself. He was sitting on his chair, however the chair was positioned backwards and Hagrids legs were round the front of it. He leaned his chin on the back of the chair. "Hagrid?!" aked harry incredulously. "Hey baby" came the reply. Hagrid was looking different to say the least. His beard was in plaits tied with ribbons, he was clad in tight leather trousers, leather boots and a too tight tshirt from which his chest hair was protruding. "Hagrid, when you said a 'new look' I dont think we realised you meant this new?" Harry said in a would-be-gentle voice.

"Yeah..well I decided I should aim for a whole new look to cheer me up and help me forget about those stinky creatures" Hagrid answered in a superior tone.

"well lets go to the castle for lunch.." Harry suggested wanting to get away from this insane Hagrid.

"Harry are you insane?" Dumbledore whispered. "can you imagine the look on everyones faces is Hagrid walks in like that?"

Harry seen sense in Dumbledores words, Hagrid however would not be persuaded otherwise. He was adament that they were going to the castle, so of course they did.

The teachers faces were quite a sight as Hagrid strutted up to his chair.

"Why Hagrid?" asked professor McGonagall in an almost offended tone "whatever have you done to yourself?"

"well Baby I wanted to look good. D'you like my medallion?" Hagrid added with a wink.

"never mind your medallion Rubeus, Lets just eat something then get out of here?" Dumbledore sugested, throwing professor McGongall an exsasperated look.

"Yeah, yeah dumby" Hagrid replied with a roll of his crinkled black eyes.

"Y'know dumby?"Hagrid asked as they walked accross the crisp frozen grass. "I think I wanna find new love who isnt Dobby or Heedahova" Hagrid spat the names of the ex's. "I mean with my new look people should be queing up!" Hagrid brightened up at the thought.

"oh for the love of merlin" Hagrid and Dumbledore exclaimed under their breath.

They went into the village and as they were walking Hagrid decided to try his new pulling skills. "Hey baby you you doing" He winked to an old witch who got all flustered and dropped her bags.

After about 15 minutes he had blew kisses, winked and called every he seen Baby. It definetely seemed to have quite the effect, especially with the women.

Dumbledore and Harry were eager to leave Hagrid, so as soon as they could they bode him goodbye and made sure he went into his little cabin. They walked up to Dumbledores office where they sat nd discussed tactics to get the old Hagrid back.

"This is totally ludicrous!" Dumbledore exclaimed obviously frustrated by the way Hagrids broken heart caused this insanity. "I hope its midlife crisis...I remember my midlife crisis"  
Dumbledore pondered thoughtfully. "It was nearly as bad as what Hagrids doing but well..."

Harry looked at dumbledore interestedly "oooh do tell me Dumbledore!" Harry almost bounced in his seat with anticipation.

Harry could have sworn he seen a blush on Dumbledores pale face. "well?" Harry enquired his eyes shining with curiousity.

"well it started when i was a very young man. About 20 years old," he started

"I had met this wizard whom I thought was a fantastic man! well his appearance was something I thought was fantastic. "

"Is that it?!" said Harry not trying to hide his dissapointment.

"well I haven't told you what he looks like yet have I! Well he had pink tinged skin..hair of the deepest black you ever did see, It cascaded down his back in such soft ringlets I couldnt help but love it, It was down to his ankles and I copied him" Dumbledore concluded simply.

"..But one day I found out his true identity, he was a milkmaid, yes a milkMAID" Dumbledore stressed the word maid.

A few weeks latter he did something I could not believe possible of any human! He...he.."

Harry was almost about to explode from anticipation. however, Dumbledore and Harry were suddenly interupted by a sudden chorus of Blue suede shoes. It was coming from an extremely deep voice thaa sounded very much like .."HAGRID?! what the hell are you doing?! shouted Dumbledore as he and Harry rose quickly from their seats. Harry cautiously peered out the door to see Hagrid doing a tango with a terrified looking Professor McGonagall, The rest of the teachers surrounded them in a semi circle.

They were merrily clapping their hands, totally unaware of how terrified mcGonagall looked. Hagrid appered to screaming blue suede shoes at the top of his lungs.

Dumbledore hit his forehead with the palm of his hand "I cannot believe im seeing this" Dumbledore said incredulously. Dumbledore swiftly walked through the crowd "Hagrid, please come with me into my office" he asked in a strict tone.

"er sure dumby?" Hagrid said in a confused voice as if he hdn' done anything out of the ordinary.

Harry rushed back into the office and stood at the back wall with a sincere look on his face. for he knew if he laughed he would only encourage Hagrid.

"Hagrid have you lost your mind?!" Dumbledore asked knowing he wouldn't get through to Hagrid by being gentle.

Hagrid looked at his knees and to Haryys surprise he let out a great sob

"Oh Dumbledore!" He wailed "I dont know what to do! I still love dobby with all my heart and soul!"

Harry had gotten over his initial shock and was now patting Hagrid consolingly on the elbow. "Oh hagrid, you dont need a partner to be happy. You've got two great supportive best friends and Professor McGonagall realy enjoyed your dancing. where would Hogwarts be without our Great Cheery Hagrid." Harry said.

"Y'know Harry, I trust you and you're right!" He snapped as he ripped off his medallion"I dont need Love to be Happy." Although Hagrid said this he still loved dobby, however harry had not told him about what Dobby did that evening in the hospital Wing

Hagrid was staring absently out of Dumbledores window where he could see his cabin. A cloaked figure started approaching his cabin.

Hagrid stood up to inspect more closely, the hooded figure pulled down the hood and Knocked on Hagrids front door, by this time Harry and Dumbedore had joined Hagrid at the window. It took Hagrid a few moment to process what he was seeing...he could recognise those Bat like ears anywhere "Dobby!" Hagrid exclaimed.

At that moment there came another figure from the distance, It was a very small person with crutches. This figure approached Hagrids cabin to see Dobby waiting impatiently.

This beings hood was pulled down it was .."HEEDHOVA?!"

Hagrid stared incredulously at this sight.

Dobby and Heedahova appeared to talk to each other, This turned into arguing. Then dobby, to Hagrids disbelief threw a punch at Dobby straight between his eyes. This turned into a complete fist fight. Hagrid too shocked to say anything simply looked at Dumbledore and Harry who stared back in disbelief. ..

_to be continued...I wrote a sequel, but I lost it. Dobby and Heedahova ended up married anway (:_


End file.
